What I am doing for? Why I have to make the two who are in a cold-war happy but make myself suffer? Am I too kind to hurt myself? And why should I say sorry to them as if I was wrong. I feel I am going a little mad, because I want to shout at everyone now. It is so hard to change one thing which is going worse to a happy-ending, because you don’t have so much power and you can also be tired.

   So I made my room dark and just turned on the CD-player trying to make my world calm down, then I lit a little spark and enjoyed it, waiting for the time passing by. Imaging that one is waiting for my call and the other is happy with its friends, I really don’t know what I should do. Now, it is meaningless to find who was really wrong in the whole thing, but I don’t want the worst end’s coming. Maybe I was totally wrong from the very beginning, maybe I should let all the things go. But would I be less suffered if I were not involved in? I am really a foolish person, always taking the responsibility, but don’t know how to get out of them.