MY PACE

           This is the second day, I really feel very down but I’ll wait to see what will happen tomorrow. 

WARNING

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me,

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other people’s gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

P.S. This is a poem form Jenny Joseph, and it’s considered to be the most popular poem at ranking 22. Please enjoy it.

   What I am doing for? Why I have to make the two who are in a cold-war happy but make myself suffer? Am I too kind to hurt myself? And why should I say sorry to them as if I was wrong. I feel I am going a little mad, because I want to shout at everyone now. It is so hard to change one thing which is going worse to a happy-ending, because you don’t have so much power and you can also be tired.

   So I made my room dark and just turned on the CD-player trying to make my world calm down, then I lit a little spark and enjoyed it, waiting for the time passing by. Imaging that one is waiting for my call and the other is happy with its friends, I really don’t know what I should do. Now, it is meaningless to find who was really wrong in the whole thing, but I don’t want the worst end’s coming. Maybe I was totally wrong from the very beginning, maybe I should let all the things go. But would I be less suffered if I were not involved in? I am really a foolish person, always taking the responsibility, but don’t know how to get out of them.

       Just now, I had a conversation with my friend momo about our recent life which made me feel better from the depression of leaving home. We talked about our high-school classmates and the future life. I got to understand people should be satisfied with what they are and trust the destiny god gave us. At such an age, we often feel helpless about life and think why others look so happy but not understand everyone has the same troubles that what career to chose and how a person to marry.

        After the conversation, I understood I’m not the only one who’s being distressed. So I decided to make my goal clearer and think one more time what I want before moving. Then what I have to do is just to wait for the time passing by. I said to my self’’ good luck’’, and wish a good luck to my entire friends who are working hard at the crossing point of life.